<p>Duders, we beat the Mayan Apocalypse. Final boss battle, programmer credits, enter your initials for high score. The game is over.</p><p>We just lived through the single biggest event in mankind's history. Has it sunk in yet? We dominated the Mayan Apocalypse with such ferocity that it didn't even bother to show up to its own fight.</p><p>After all the tough talk, after all the fear-mongering inscriptions in ancient ruins, in the end it just sent us a text that said, "Yo, Earth, I know we've been beefing for what seems like a baktun now, and in all realness, I thought about coming at you, but I've been watching you from afar and you bring it way too hard, Earth. There's no way I would be able to apocalypse you, and I think we both know it. So go ahead and do your thing. Whatever that may turn out to be."</p><p>Of course, mankind promptly replied, "Ding-Dong, you're Dumped, Mayan Apocalypse!" and updated its relationship status on Facebook accordingly.</p><p><a href="http://www.news-gazette.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/miscellaneous/2012-12-30/reluctant-townie-its-happy-new-yearlease-life.h">Keep reading...</a></p>